Sweet Like Honey
by Hikaru Morinaga
Summary: Thoughts aren't the only thing that's sweet like honey. You shouldn't just dive in for a taste. You might get stung. Crawford, however, knew he wasn't going to get stung by any bees. Not today, anyway. One shot.


**Sweet Like Honey**

Crawford hated cheap wine, and thought that it was overtly sweet or, at the other end of the spectrum, too sour. The wine served at the Independent Party party was neither too sweet nor too sour, it was just incredibly bland. A shame since a decent wine could completely tantalise the senses. Crawford continued to swish it around in his wine glass, hoping that, maybe if he did it long enough, he could magically turn bad tasting wine into good.

_For someone trying to win over undecided politicians, Takatori could have spent a few more dollars on the drinks. Caviar spread on crackers with cheap wine? How was that going to win any favours?_

Next to him, Schuldig snorted his drink, which wasn't the vinegary scented wine, but a sparkling cidar. Schuldig, surprisingly enough to Crawford, always held a "don't drink on the job" stance, his reasoning being, "Why get smashed now and end up shooting myself in the foot when I can get smashed later?"

"You don't want to taste it?" Crawford offered his glass to his partner.

"You want _me_ to try something you said tasted like vinegar? Tch. No thanks." His eyes scanned the crowd. "God, that guy's on his fifth glass of _Scheissewein_, all so he can hit on Takatori's daughter." He scoffed. "Pathetic." He took a large gulp of his cidar.

_Why are we here again?_ Schuldig asked, his eyes dead-set on the boy with Ouka. _It can't be because we genuinely give a damn about Takatori, is it?_

Crawford shook his head.

_It's Weiss, isn't it? You Saw them here._

_I Saw one of them here. The boy with Takatori's daughter. The one Hirofumi said is his long lost brother. He wants to…negotiate things with him._

_He wants us to get rid of him if things head south, ja?_

Crawford nodded. Schuldig drained the contents of his glass and slammed it onto the nearby table.

"And what will we say to Mister there if he finds out what Hirofumi is up to?" Schuldig muttered.

"That Ouka's new beau is planning to assassinate him, of course."

"So the truth, then."

Just as Crawford predicted, there Hirofumi entered, said a few words to Takatori, and began searching the crowd for his brother named Mamoru. Upon finding him, Hirofumi led his brother to one of the doors leading outside the mansion, and that was when Crawford nudged Schuldig.

_Follow him_.

When Takatori later asked Crawford where his partner was, Crawford said with ease, "He is chasing after some rather pesky vermin."

Crawford wasn't sure whether he meant Hirofumi or Weiss.

"Here of all places?"

"It's a perfect cover. He could have come as someone's date, or as a friend of someone important. I sent Schuldig after him. He won't be a threat any longer."

-x-

"Why are you trying to kill me?"

Schuldig paid little attention to Hirofumi beating his younger brother. He saw enough of that in Rosenkreuz, where siblings often tried to kill each other, usually through even worse means. It was boring to him. He was on the lookout for the rest of Weiss, who he knew would come because, well, this little kitten was one of their own, of course, and you never abandon your own. The other reason was because Crawford had Seen them coming, and he said Weiss would end up being important later on. And after the events of tomorrow? Schuldig smirked. He was going to have fun with them for a while.

Sure enough, Weiss did not disappoint. Two had infiltrated the condo—one was hiding out in the ventilation system in the ceiling, the other was hiding behind a wall. Another was ready to break through the window. Now to screw with their heads a little…

"You're not my brother!"

The sound of shattering glass and ripped drapery overwhelmed the duct vent falling to the ground and the noise of a sword being drawn.

_I guess I have to make an appearance now…_

Well it was either that or have Abyssinian cut Hirofumi in half. Schuldig didn't give a damn regardless and he knew for a fact Takatori senior didn't either. Being able to screw with people's minds came in handy for dramatic entrances. He shoved Hirofumi to the side, just missing the sharp katana edge, and seemed to appear from nowhere.

_Oh, don't be so disappointed,_ Schuldig thought. _You'll have plenty of other opportunities to try and kill him._

"You…!"

Schuldig shoved Hirofumi towards the door. "Run."

Hirofumi hesitated. Schuldig planted a nice "oh I think I left the oven on" suggestion in his head in the form of "I'd better leave so I don't get any bloodstains on my brand new shirt" and felt Hirofumi's presence in his head slowly vanish.

Abyssinian tried swinging at him. Schuldig dodges, his reflexes better than a cat's. He made for the now broken window and jumped onto the railing of the balcony with the ease of an acrobat.

"I've seen your faces, Weiss," Schuldig said, peering down his nose at them, hands in his trouser pockets. "I'll be coming back for your lives."

He jumped from the balcony before they could take another swing at him, and he watched Hirofumi take off in one of his expensive cars.

_One down, three to go_, Schuldig thought. _Danke, Weiss. You're incredibly useful. I might keeo you around for a while yet._

-x-

Schuldig didn't bother trying to stay silent when he closed the door to the flat he and the rest of Schwarz shared. The hallway had a trail of artificial light spilling out onto the hardwood flooring, in the direction of Crawford's office. He figured Crawford wouldn't be asleep yet, not until he heard Schuldig's report. He followed the light and didn't even bother knocking before entering the dimly lit office.

"Did you take care of the vermin?" Crawford asked without looking up from his paperwork.

"In a way." He paused. "I'll tell you what that means if you'll give me your undivided attention, Crawford."

Crawford looked up and peered across his desk.

"Don't worry, I'm not in the habit of reading your thoughts. You just think a little too loud sometimes." Schuldig sat on the edge of Crawford's desk. "Apparently Hirofumi was in Weiss's crosshairs for a few days now—they've been tracking him down. All I did was send them on a little chase, and then the youngest Weiss member took him out with a bow. A little medieval, but it did its job."

"And the police?"

"Just as you said. Takatori was the first on the scene, and he covered it up as an unfortunate traffic accident. Even covered up the arrow. Crudely. It was done before the press could arrive, after all."

"I haven't foreseen any complications. Good work, Schuldig." Crawford even sounded like he meant it.

Schuldig smirked. "Think the wine must've gone to your head."

Crawford gave Schuldig an inquisitive look.

"You just said, 'Good work, Schuldig'."

"And?"

"You've never complimented me before." He leaned closer, his hand on the armrest of Crawford's chair now.

"I haven't?"

Schuldig shook his head. "Not like that, anyway. I was expecting something more like this."

Balancing his body above Crawford's using the armrests of the chair, he closed the distance between them and claimed Crawford's mouth. At first, Crawford did nothing, just as Schuldig expected. What he _didn't_ expect was Crawford's fingers in his hair, or for him to actually _kiss him back_.

Schuldig pulled away abruptly.

"Thoughts aren't the only things that taste sweet like honey, you know," Schuldig remarked. "You shouldn't just dive in and eat it, though. You might get stung."

Crawford guided Schuldig onto his lap.

"I don't see myself getting stung any time soon."

He kissed Schuldig again, his fingers trailing along Schuldig's thigh.

"Tomorrow I will have to tell Takatori that the assassin evaded you and that we are currently hunting for him. I want you to keep an eye on Weiss."

Schuldig cocked an eyebrow. "You have a plan."

"Takatori is getting too high up his own ass. I would like to knock him down a peg, show him who his real boss is. He knows what his purpose is, and that is to take over Japan and hand it to Eszett. He has no place to get all high and mighty."

Another kiss, this time with a little tongue on Schuldig's part, and some hair tugging on Crawford's.

"So what exactly is this plan of yours?"

Crawford nipped at Schuldig's neck, kissed him again, and pushed him off his lap.

"It involves another tragic accident, this time with Takatori's daughter."

And without another word, Crawford went back to his paperwork.

_Cocktease_, Schuldig said.

_I pride myself in being a professional. I can't afford distraction._

"So what the hell do you call what just happened?"

Crawford said nothing at first.

"A distraction."

"I went from doing a good job to being a distraction. How the hell—"

"Go to sleep, Schuldig. I'm going to need you tomorrow."

_I'll make you need me tomorrow_. "Sure, sure." _You're still a goddamn cocktease._

Schuldig knew the rules, however. You weren't supposed to get involved with your boss unless there was some sort of gain involved. What would the gain be in this situation? Absolutely nothing. He didn't need to suck up to Crawford. He knew where he stood.

He stood on Crawford's right. Always.


End file.
